Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
try to milk me bitch
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