If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
