OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
