I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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