If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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