My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
that may or may not have been my penis.
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