...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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