Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
