I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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