I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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