And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just invented taco cereal.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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