i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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