Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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