just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
