dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
BRING THE BAGELS
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
