Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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