So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
