how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
