What a fucking waste of an outfit
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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