No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
