He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
