You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
