Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
