Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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