I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
operation harelip BJ is a go
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
