walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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