I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize