Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
