New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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