I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
