All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
