wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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