You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
