That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
