Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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