well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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