no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
