Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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