Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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