that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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