3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
