I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Be still, my beating vagina.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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