At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize