Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize