I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
