Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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