Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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