Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
