Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
