Dual....:-)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
