Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
