Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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