The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
