Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
