Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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