neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
