I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
