And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize