i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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