you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize