also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
