You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
