she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the day after is always just damage control
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
