So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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